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The Shelter/List of Episodes/1-6: The Beach Episode
hella. Sypnosis To let off some steam, the gang heads to the beach for some beach episode shenanigans. Wearing their fanservicey swimwear, they partake in misadventures include ACF dealing with a douchey surfer dude who bullies the rest of the gang, Moch trying to seduce Shulk and later becoming a nudist, Comp discovering the lost city of Atlantis, and more. Transcript CDi-Link: Gee! It sure is boring around here! King Harkinian: My boy, this peace is what all true warriors strive for! Moch: Peace… more like… BEACH. I wanna go to the beach. Faves: Yeah sounds good. Moch: I totally have no ulterior motive in wanting to go, haha what are you talking about? *intense sweating* Comp: Did someone say… BEACH? Faves: Yeah wanna come? Comp: I dunno… Plants vs. Zombies 2 makes me have trust issues with beaches… darn surfer zombies… Moch: Hey, I think it’d be sexy- I mean fun. Faves: Just let me go change. (Faves literally transforms into herself but with fanservicey swimwear) Faves: Okay I’m ready. Moch: I’ll change too. (rips off shirt and pants to reveal swimsuit) I am always prepared. Just kidding, I put one on before, I don’t usually have a swimsuit on. Faves: Doesn’t that seem a little weird? Like you pretty much say “HEY LETS GO TO THE BEACH” and you just have swimwear on… why? Moch: Well, you know… in this economy… uh… guys look, Bob! That one guy! Bob: (From the other room) Did you guys call me? ACF: (walks in and takes a look at everyone else) ….Yeaaahhh I don’t know if I want to be in this episode today…. Faves: Listen, you don’t have to be fanservicey. I’ll fill that role just fine. ACF: Oh thank god. Thanks. Faves: I’m here to help. Bob: (runs in) We’re going to the beach?! HELL YES! (Bob rips off his clothes to reveal swim trunks) ACF: Do you even usually wear clothes? Comp: I dunno. Ah well... *rips off clothes to reveal less fanservicey swimwear* Heck yeah. ACF: ...am I the only one in here who isn’t magically wearing swimwear right now? Faves: I wasn’t. I mean, I am now, but I wasn’t. ACF: Eh, lemme see if I can do this… (ACF rips off their clothes to reveal swim trunks and a shirt) ACF: Hella. Moch: So… be right back. (Moch runs to his room and returns dragging along Shulk) Hey Shulk, wanna go to the beach, GREAT, let’s go! Shulk: Wait, what? Moch: GUYS, CUT TO THE BEACH. RIGHT NOW. - Scene cuts to the beach - Faves: So, ACF… what if you didn’t have swimwear underneath your clothes? ACF: Would I be here if I didn’t? Faves: Yeah, fair enough. Moch: Now Shulk, come with me in this direction! There’s a DIFFERENT section of the beach I want to explore. Shulk: But I was just gonna swim over here… Moch: But… fine. For now. ACF: Dude, I wonder if this beach has an ice cream stand? Bob: What beach doesn’t have an ice cream stand? Faves: Oh man I can get some hella fanservice with ice cream ACF: Please don’t. There’s enough of it as there is. Faves: Fine, I’ll eat it normally. Moch: You know what they say. POPSICLES are the ones you eat sexy-style. Bob: Who says that, exactly?... Faves: Yeah I mean if you get some vanilla Ice Cream... Moch: I don’t know. I just made that up. I’m mysterious that way. (eyes Shulk) Just like that mysterious section of the beach over there... ACF: ….So I’m getting chocolate flavored ice cream. What do you guys want? Moch: Hmm… ice cream sandwich. Faves: Eh, I’ll just get that vanilla-chocolate swirl. Comp: Ice cream? Who needs ice cream? I’m getting a hot dog and some mustard. There’s water over there, and I gotta experiment. ACF: ….Okaaay then. Faves: Wait I thought that was my job. Ice Cream Guy: Here's your ice cream, sir. Moch: Thanks. (drops it on purpose) Oh no, I dropped it! Shulk, be a dear and pick that up for me! Ice Cream Guy: No, I can do it. Moch: (whispers) Fuck off, dude! Ice Cream Guy: What the fuck did you say- ACF: Oh god. Faves: Hey ACF let’s do something else while Moch and his boy toy have some fun. ACF: Yeah, alright. What generic beach thing should we do? Volleyball or watermelon contests? Comp: I was just gonna mess around in the water. The sogg-dog won’t invent itself! (Comp begins to walk into the water, hot dog in one hand, mustard in the other. She begins putting mustard on the hot dog, only then to have it continue to her arm as she moves forwards. About halfway through, she stops.) Comp: What am I even doing with my life? Faves: What the fresh fuck Comp: I don’t even know. I invented the sogg-dog though, so I guess that’s SOMETHING! (Comp holds a soggy hot dog in her hand.) Faves: You know what fuck this I’m lying down and ignoring everything (Lays down on some random blanket. She proceeds to fall asleep) ACF: Alright. I’m just gonna go do a round of volleyball with Bob. Bob: Good thing I found a ball right here! (picks it up, but then someone grabs it from him) What the hell?! Douchebag: Um, that’s MY volleyball. Bob: Uh, no it’s not. Douchebag: Well now it is, loser. ACF: What the hell is going on here?! Bob: Some douche stole our volleyball. Douchebag: Ohh no, it’s your girlfriend here to save your ass. What are you gonna do, yell at me? ACF: ...What the fuck did you just call me, you generic one dimensional beach stereotype? Bob: Sick burn! Douchebag: Oh, it is ON. Faves: (Wakes up) Can I get some fucking sleep? ACF: NOT UNTIL I KICK THIS GUY’S ASS. Anyway, one round of volleyball. You versus me, Douchebag. Douchebag: Alright. I can’t wait to see you cry when I win. ACF: Can’t wait to see you cry like a pissbaby when I kick your ass. Bob: Just start already! Faves: Please! Douchebag: (Looks at Faves) Hey, are you single? Faves: Eugh, no. ACF, kick his ass. ACF: You bet I will. (ACF serves the ball, and the game begins) (meanwhile, Shulk is in the ocean, surfing along some large waves) -Meanwhile, with Moch- Shulk: Wooo, NOW it's Shulk time. Moch: (crawls out from under Shulk's board) HEY SHULK, need any help? Shulk: Uh, no. I'm fine. Thanks for asking, though. Moch: Oh okay. I guess I'll- (purposefully falls off surfboard) Oh no... I'm floating away... and I can't swim too... Shulk: Oh, I'll help you Moch! Moch: Aaaaaa, I'm floating away! Shulk: You're floating away really fast, Moch. Are you sure you're not just swimming? Moch: Pffftft. (fake-floats faster down the beach) Shulk: (continually chases after Shulk until Moch finally slows down) Gotcha! (holds Moch in his arms) That was a close one. Let's hed to shore. Oh wait... a vision. (Shulk gets a vision of him arriving on shore and being on the nude side of the beach, with Moch taking off his swimwear) Shulk: UHHH... GOT TO GO! You can swim, right? Moch: No, I just- Shulk: Sorry, cya! (drops Moch) Moch: NO- NOO!! (falls into ocean and climbs back onto shore) Ugh... maybe I’ll get my chance another day… -Cuts back to ACF and that generic Douchebag- Faves: I didn’t know ACF was good at this. I mean, sure I’m not into sports in the slightest but damn. Bob: Yeah, she just might win this! (Douchebag serves the ball) ACF: I’m so gonna win this- (ACF hits the ball but it goes out of bounds) ACF: GOD DAMNIT. Douchebag: Haha. You’re out! Now you have to find a replacement! ACF: Can you even be kicked out of volleyball? Douchebag: Yes, because I said you can. ACF: No fuck you, I’m staying. You’re not even an actual character that appears for more than one episode, lol. - Meanwhile, at some other place - 4th Wall: (wall cracks) (stops reading some book) ...Whatever. (goes back to reading book) Back with the volleyball sub-plot - Faves: Just hurry up so I can go back to sleep. Actually you know what fuck this (Gets up) I’m gonna beat the shit out of this guy. ACF: Yeah, that’s a much better idea. (pulls out a mallet out of their trunk pockets) Douchebag: This just seems too eas- (Gets hit in the face with ACF’s mallet) Bob: (With a pennant and foam finger) GO ACF AND FAVES!! (ACF and Faves continue to beat the shit out of the Douchebag) Faves: Is… is he still alive? Eh, I don’t care, let’s just get away before someone notices. ACF: Nah, he’s still breathing. Now what? Faves: I’m just gonna fall asleep. Maybe get in the water, I don’t know. I know I’m gonna pass out somewhere eventually. ACF: Alright. I might just in the water too. Maybe find the others. ...Well, find Comp at least. Comp: (rises from water) meet me in the pit. ACF: ...And there she is! See ya later. (ACF goes into the water) Faves: Fuck it, let’s swim. With a body this fanservicey why not have some fun. Comp: So, this is crazy, but when I was in the water, trying to sell my sogg-dog, I may or may not have found Atlantis. I mean, what’s a crappy beach special without Atlantis? ACF: You got a point there. Faves: Okay but if we visit it how are we gonna breathe? Nah I’m just kidding I can probably turn into a fish or something with gills. Like a shark… Comp: I have a snorkel mask. Will that work? ACF: Perhaps. I mean, this is a cartoon, so I’m not sure if we need too much logic. Comp: Let’s just hope this is not the one from the SpongeBob special. ACF: Yeah... Faves: ..Or maybe the Loch-Ness Monster! Nah, too big… I’m just gonna turn into some mermaid version of myself ACF: Of course you would. Faves: (Jumps into the water and turns into a mermaid) Let’s go! ACF: Well too bad I don’t have shapeshifting powers. Where the heck is Bob anyway? Faves: I don’t know, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to find a stick figure. Comp: Doesn’t his paper-esque body make it rough for him to even survive in water? Faves: This is cartoon logic, of course not. I mean, how did you even survive underwater?Probably some cartoon logic shit. ACF: Good point. Comp: Okay. So… do we go to Atlantis now? I mean, we’ve been stalling for a while now. ACF: Yeah let’s go. Bob’s probably alright. (ACF, Comp, and Faves swim to Atlantis) - Meanwhile, back with Moch - (Moch trudges on shore in the nudist beach, taking off his swimsuit, sad about his plan not working) (Note: All nude characters in this episode have leaves or logs that happen to float in front of their privates.) Moch: (by a group of nudists sitting around campfire) You got room for one more? Nudist: Of course! Our nudist tribe takes any aspiring nudist in open arms. What seems to be troubling you? Moch: I had a huge crush on this guy, and he doesn't seem to share it... Nudist: Ah, romance. You soon forget about it once you lose your mortality. I wouldn't worry about it. Moch: Wait... are you implying nudists are immortal?! Nudist: Nudists ARE immortal! Don't you know?! Nudist Elder: Adam and Eve didn't wear clothes when they were free of sin and pure, but once they ate the evil apple they started wearing them. So obviously, becoming a nudist makes you pure, hence immortal. Nudist: If you do the Nudist Oath and offically join the cult, you'll get immortality too! Moch: Hmm... and all I have to do is abandon my unattainable mortal desires? Nudist: Yep! Moch: I'm sold! Pass me the oath! (Nudist passes Moch a piece of paper) I vow to abandon my physical clothes for good, and replace them with a new spirtual clothing of my nudity. And I acknowledge that the smallest sock on my body will undo this spirtiual clothing and make me mortal once more, and am ready to fully ignore all of my former Earthly desires, including clothes. Nudist: Great, you're immortal now! Moch: Hell yeah! Time to tell the gang! - Back with the rest of the gang at Atlantis - ACF: Wow, look at all of this generic treasure. (ACF opens a huge clam and Bob is inside it) Oh hey Bob. Glad to see you’re here too. Bob: Yeah, that’s a funny story... (as they admire the treasure, Moch swims downward into Atlantis) Moch: Hey guys, how’s it going! Faves: Wait how did find us? Bob: Uh, Moch. Why aren’t you wearing clothes? And how are you breathing down here? Moch: I abandon all of my mortal desires and became a nudist, making me immortal! Oh, and I tracked your footprints. Duh. Bob: That raises more questions than it answers… Faves: We’re underwater, we don’t have footprints. And as of right now, I don’t even have any feet. Moch: I’m naked and breathing underwater and you focus on the footprints part? Faves: Technically I’m naked and breathing underwater. Shit, no, I still have the top from the swimwear… ACF: Shit, I don’t think I ever put on a snorkel, so... Moch: I’ll save you, ACF! (shoots giant bubble out mouth into ACF’s mouth) ACF: Thanks? Moch: No problem. I may not be the nudist we all need, but I’m the one we all deserve. Bob: Please stop. Comp: Hmm, we haven’t seen any Atlantians around. ACF: The less there are, the better. Faves: I say we raid this place and all of it’s treasures. Besides, nobody’s here to catch us. Bob: True. (Bob grabs a golden trident from some statue) Sweet. (King Neptune suddenly appears) Bob: holy fUCK King Neptune: Who dares disturb my underwater city? Moch: To be fair, I'm not with them in any way. Also, nice to see another nudist. King Neptune: Ayy, bruh. (fist-bumps Moch) ACF: Yeahhh….Uh… SCATTER! (ACF kicks open a huge chest full of bubbles and it blows the gang up to the sky) Faves: Guys holy fuck I can’t breathe we’re out of water and I can’t breathe dear god (Transform into a human being) God that’s much better. Comp: That was the most short-lived Atlantian adventure I’ve ever seen. ACF: That’s what happens when you mENTION THAT THERE’S NO ATLANTIANS AROUND! Comp: Well I’m agnostic, were you expecting for me to think that King Neptune would appear? ACF: No, but still! ...Uh. We’re still in the air. Comp: Shi- (the gang falls back down into the water) Moch: You guys wouldn’t be hurt if you were immortal. Bob: JUST STOP Moch: Come on guys, why not convert to nudism? Bob: Ugh, put a sock in it. (shoves sock onto Moch’s foot) Moch: Wait… NO! (immortal-ness leaves Moch’s body) NOOOO!!! (Moch starts to fall and drown normally) ACF: SHIT. (ACF takes a deep breath and dives down to save Moch) Faves: Oh shit. Well that's too bad, let's go home everyone gg regroup next week Shulk: Guys, I was swimming out and what’s happening? Bob: Moch is sinking again. Shulk: Oh no! (is about to swim down but ACF swims back up) ACF: Got him! Moch: (squirms out of ACF’s arms) Uh oh, I’m falling again… Shulk: (picks up Moch) I got ya. Moch: Thanks for saving me, Shulk. ACF: I just saved your naked ass, you- Faves: Hey Moch your raging semi is showing Moch: Oops. (takes sock off foot and puts it over dong) That’s better. Faves: Well we couldn't see it in the first place (Snickers) Moch: First of all how dare- Comp: Wait- Did we ever defeat King Neptune? ACF: Who cares, I just want to go home. King Neptune: (rises from ocean) I’M NOT FINIS- Moch: That’s great, can you send us home with another massive water blast or something? King Neptune: But you guys were stealing my stuff! Faves: Technically, Bob only grabbed your trident… Comp: Wait, do you still have it, Bob? Bob: Uh, no. It sunk when we fell down. King Neptune: You were still trying to steal my stuff. Faves: Well, now it's back where it came from and we can go home okay bye (Heads off) ACF: Same, goodbye. (Swims off in the same direction) Come on, Bob. (Bob also swims off) Moch: Guess I’ll be going too. Shulk… I’m weak. Can you carry me home? Shulk: Of course! Moch: Aaaah… this is nice. Comp: Fine. I guess I’ll start my sogg-dog business another day... Faves: Enough with the sogg-dog shit, it's not gonna take off. ACF: You mean, it’s not gonna stAY AFLOAT. Faves: No. ACF: Fuck you, that was a good pun. Faves: As someone who makes shitty puns daily, I can assure you that was very bad. ACF: Whatever, dude. Comp: Looks like I shall start a new business! (rips off swimwear to remove heavy winter jacket) TO THE ICE MOUNTAINS WE GO! THE FROST-DOG AWAITS US! Bob: Maybe another time, Comp. Comp: Nope, we’re going right now! ACF: Uh, I think our runtime is almost- (“The End” titlecard covers the whole screen) Credits Gag - Cuts to several thousand years in the future. Hunmanity is gone, the world is a nuclear wasteland, giant cockroaches are ruling the Earth and enslaving the remaining humans. Then cuts back to the nudist beach. - Nudist: It's a shame that Moch guy never returned. He seemed like a nice guy. It would've been cool to spend eternity naked on the beach with him as well. Nudist Elder: Oh well. He didn't appreciate our culture enough anyway. Nudist: At least he invited us to his wedding! Nudist Elder: And in that huge final battle, with the- - Out of nowhere, a giant cockroach attacks the beach and swallows the Nudist Elder and then the rest of the Nudists before they can spoil anything else. - Category:The Shelter Category:Pages by Ace Lad Category:The Shelter Episodes